Have you ever made a decision that you said you would never make again? A decision that didn’t end in good results the last time you made it? Did that decision involve a significant other? The first thing you have to ask yourself is where did you go wrong and what influenced you to make that same decision over again. Did your significant other only think about their own feelings or did they take time to consider yours during the relationship? Next you have to forgive yourself for the not so good decision you made. This is when things can become a little difficult.
Growing up one of my family members would always say the first mistake was an absolute mistake however when it turns into three and four mistakes then it’s shame on the person making the mistake. I agree with this one hundred percent. We live in a world where we have to protect ourselves, our feelings, our hearts and even our minds, because life is not a fairytale. The same way we have to guard our mind from negativity, is the same way we have to guide our heart from opening up on a level without no substantial commitment. Going off a person’s word is not good enough. A person can tell you all day that they want to spend the rest of their life with you and you both can really love eachother, but is that enough to jump head over heels without rationalizing your decisions but following your heart instead? This is what you absolutely shouldn’t do. Spending the rest of your life with a person is also much bigger than you loving that person. How does that person treat you? Is he or she nice to you? Does your partner talk to you with respect or does he or she raise their voice and get out of line with you? These are questions to think about before even considering marriage.
When you’ve put everything into a relationship and you’re left with nothing, it’s only right to evaluate yourself. You can be upset with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend but the root to the problem lies within you. A person can only do what you allow them to do to you. So set your standards even higher, don’t settle to make someone else happy, because there is still no guarantee that your catering to them will be the glue to keep you both together. Love yourself enough to learn from your mistakes. You owe it to yourself to accept the type of love that's pure and unwavering, and does not tear you down but build you up. When the time is right God will bring someone into your life who will not look for you to compromise on your beliefs and values and will respect you for the beautiful person you are on the inside as well as the outside!
When God brings you through it, it’s done, move forward. Your windshield is bigger than your rear view mirror for a reason. It’s the window you look through while moving forward towards the better things God has for your life. The rear view mirror is there for you to only look back to make sure you don’t run into the same type of problem again. It helps you to safely pass by things you’ve already experienced and grown from.
I hope this blesses someone, until next time loves xoxoxo!
Ladies and fellas, make sure you are filling your child up with positive thoughts about him/herself. Tell your daughter that she’s beautiful and your son that he’s handsome. Let them know that they are more than enough and that they have everything they need to succeed in life. Support them and show them that you genuinely care about them and their well-being. This is what a child desires, no scratch that this is what a child needs to grow up to be an individual who values and loves him/herself. Don’t speak defeat over their life, because this may hinder them from seeing the true potential they possess.
Growing up my mom would always tell me that I was pretty, but in the same breath she would say, “Pretty fades you need to have something in your mind. If you're just pretty you will get taken advantage of. You have to be smart.” Maybe this is why she started reading and talking to me as soon as she found out she was pregnant. I was in her stomach but I heard every word, as a result I begin talking at the early age of 8 months. Every day my mom would sit me down and read books to me. The reading helped to build my vocabulary skills. When I started the Primary School I read so many books that my mom had to request books to be sent from other libraries to the library in my hometown, because I had read all the books on my grade level as well as all the books on the next two grade levels ahead of mine.
In addition to pushing me to be a smart individual, my mother made sure I was respectful to adults and treated others nicely. If I felt like an adult was out of line, I was told to never talk back to them but to tell her once I got home and she would handle it. I seen my mother as a superhero. There was never a bump or bruise she couldn’t heal with peroxide and neosporin, or never a time when she couldn’t nurse me back to good health with chicken noodle soup and ginger ale. She was there for me on my good days and on my bad ones and still is. There’s absolutely nothing she cannot do, from cooking to filing taxes, to sewing, to real-estate, to teaching, and many other things. She taught me the importance of having my own and valuing myself as well as my loved ones and others that I come into contact with in life.
What I love the most about my mom is her integrity. Believe it or not, you can’t teach your child to do things one way if they see you do things the total opposite way, you can but this method isn't very effective. No one is perfect because life is not a fairytale, however it is imperative for your child to see you setting the best possible example of the way to treat others. Not just friends or family members but even strangers and the ones who do you wrong. Integrity will love unconditionally, not look down upon, and will always be honest but know when to move forward. I’ve never heard my mom sit around and gossip and talk about others, she doesn’t do it because it’s not in her character therefore I’m the same way. I have so many important things to do other than talk about other people. I don’t like to deal in or be around negativity.
The integrity my mom has allows her to be respectful to individuals who have mistreated her. When I first seen this I didn’t understand it but when my mom explained to me that it takes more energy to be upset with someone than to forgive and move forward, it made more sense to me. She would say, “I have so much going on in my life that I don’t have time to be upset with them.” This is funny but so real at the same time.
What are you teaching your children? What do you say to fill them up and make them feel like they can accomplish all their dreams? Have you created a bond with them? Are you their biggest cheerleader? Love on your children, and be mindful that they’re watching you!
Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.
-H Jackson Brown Jr.
I hope this blesses someone. Until next time loves xoxoxo!
What is she doing? Why is she still in Thomasville? She will never become anything or be successful living in Thomasville.
Shhhhh…lets have a moment of silence to put to rest all the negativity people have spoken over your life. I begin this post with a few things I’ve heard too often about my life. People will doubt you and have things to say about you regardless if you are living in a small town or big city. I like to plan my life strategically, so first I pray and humbly ask God for the next steps I should take in this life's journey. It’s important to seek him first before jumping out and operating on your own strength. Life is not a fairytale, therefore you have to be mindful that it's dangerous out here in the world and you must use wisdom or wise judgement when making moves or decisions. Ask yourself questions like, "Where does God want me to be?" Pray about it and block out the noise around you.
Don’t allow people to make you feel less than because you aren’t where they think you should be location wise or even financially. Most importantly, don't give people the power to make you rush into things you’re unsure of, you may end up in a very dangerous situation. Any place where God hasn't told you to go is dangerous, because you're working outside of his realm of protection. So listen to your inner voice, the voice God put inside you to guard you from anything unlike him. No one knows how hard you work every single day behind the scenes, they only make assumptions based off what they think. There is a season for everything, when God is ready to move you he will and when he moves you, you will not have to try to sustain yourself because you will be operating off his strength.
When people talk, allow that to give you ammunition. If they are saying things like she’s just a baby momma, he will never be successful because his dad was on drugs, she has a degree and no job, she will never make it, or he has a mental disability which means he will never go far in life, don’t allow these judgments to discourage or stop you from striving to be the best you. Keep working, and when they talk continue to work, because while they’re talking about what you don’t have they will miss out on working for what they should have.
Some people define success by how much money they have or the type of car, house or apartment they live in. I like nice things but it’s important to know that real success is about how many lives you touch while fulfilling your God given purpose, or while God is lining things up in your favor to fulfill that purpose. When you go to a library or school do you smile and speak to the janitors, or do you look down on them because you feel like you’re better than them? When you go to a restaurant do you say please and thank you to the waiter and leave a tip if he/she has provided good service, or are you quick to be disrespectful because you’re spending your money?
When defining success, it’s not about where you live, how smart you are, or even what you have, it’s about how you treat people and your work ethic. So when people start talking and say things to challenge your ability to succeed in life, smile and keep working and treating people nice along the way. The day is coming when those same people will have to swallow their own negative words, so be patient and let them talk.
I hope this blesses someone, until next time loves xoxoxo!
Love has always been a complicated word to define, this is why everyone has different meanings of the word. Life is no fairytale, as a result I have come across people in life who have the meaning of “love” completely twisted. For example, some husbands and wives cheat on their spouse, go back home to them, and act as though they’ve been faithful. How could this possibly be love? Some will say that it is love because the married spouse does not completely leave their partner for someone else. I’ve never understood this philosophy. I would rather for my significant other to be truthful to me than to look me in my eyes and lie to me. Better yet, I’m the type of woman who prefers a man to be up front and tell me that he’s interested in someone else, so that he can be on his merry way out of my life! Even though it may hurt, I will eventually get over it and respect that he was honest.
My definition of love is simply loyalty, patience, kindness and forgiveness. I haven’t been in many relationships but I sure have learned a lot from the relationships I’ve been in. The most important thing I’ve learned is that two people who do not share the same definition of love, will have a difficult time keeping the relationship alive. There are no two people who are exactly the same but in order to be compatible they have to value eachother the same. By value I mean being appreciative of eachother’s time and considerate of eachother’s feelings. Love does not brag and is not boastful, thus there’s no room for pride in the presence of true love. When someone loves you they will set aside their pride for the greater good of the relationship. If they are not mature enough to let go of their pride or be willing to compromise, they will allow pride to destroy the relationship. Pride is poisonous and will kill any relationship no matter how well things were at the beginning, however when real love is present a person will apologize to make amends because they value the relationship more than losing love.
Love gives without looking for anything in return, because the giving comes from the heart. Although you may buy your partner nice things, it’s important to know the act of love is completely free. It doesn’t cost you a dime, because loyalty, patience, kindness and forgiveness are all valuable qualities that cannot be bought. I’ve seen so many women in bad situations because they are with men who try to buy their love and affection and then look for them to play wife in return without a ring. Women stay in these toxic relationships because they eventually associate love with the dollar bill, but it isn’t love if he buys you things and then talks to you in a way that makes you feel bad or even puts his hands on you when he gets ready. It may be his definition of love, but when a person makes you feel bad emotionally and or physically then you know that type of love is not for you. Love is supposed to uplift, and not tear down. Always remember that to properly love someone else you have to love yourself first. When you love yourself, you will know who to love and how to love. And when that true love comes around, it will survive the test of time.
I hope this blesses someone…until next time loves xoxoxo!
I'm an East Carolina University alumna. I have experience in journalism, law, radio broadcasting, television production and teaching. My goal is to make a difference in the world through media and motivational speaking.