We all have experienced some dark times in our life, when we felt like we wouldn’t be able to take just one more step forward because we had the weight of the world on our shoulders. If you go back to that moment in your memory bank, you will recall that you thought it was over for you. You couldn’t see yourself coming out that situation, whether it was a toxic relationship or illness, or maybe you got fired from a job that was paying really good money, and your bills were due but you didn’t know how you would pay them. These are the issues I’m speaking of. Think of a time when your life was at its worse, and you hit rock bottom. How did you feel and how did you react?
When you’re in that moment, life feels like it’s coming to an end and you will never be able to move past that situation. It always seems this way because the human mind can be tricky. During that low time in our life, our minds will make us feel like there is no way things will change for the better and if they did it would not be any time soon. I call this mis-diagnosing a situation or a problem, because the solution to your problem is closer than it appears, and your healing is closer than it appears. You just have to change your perception.
The situation always looks bigger than it is when you’re going through the pain and heartache. When you get past the hurt, you will realize there is a reason for everything. Allow what happens to you to make you stronger. If the relationship tears you down, maybe you need to let it go so that you can be completely happy. If you are dealing with sickness continue to pray and thank God for your healing in advance and then reach out to someone who is in a less fortunate situation, to be a light in their life by inspiring them to keep moving forward. If you lost your job it’s okay, apply for other jobs and use the free time to invest in yourself by perfecting your craft, expanding your knowledge, and encouraging others who may be going through the same.
Use your situation to first help yourself and then help someone else. The challenges and devastations we face in life are only temporary; the only thing constant is change so change your perception. There is so much more ahead of you! Your future is bright; allow change to be the flame that will spark the necessary growth in your life. I hope this blesses someone!
So you go out on a date and you feel like this guy or girl is a good candidate, they seem to have it all together. They have a place, a ride, a degree and no children. I’m not against people with children but I don’t have any so I would like to marry someone who doesn’t have any. If I had a child I would be all for talking to a person with a child. In the past I’ve actually tried it before but it was just too much drama for me, however I’m aware that everyone’s situation is different.
While you’re out on the date you’re asking the basic questions that you are supposed to ask to get to know a person. First dates are much like an interview. They say the first impression is the lasting impression, but you have to be mindful that the person is putting his or her best foot forward on the first date so you may not be able to see that person for who he or she really is.
Sometimes, after the first few dates the topic of religion may come up depending on how comfortable a person feels with opening up about their spiritual life. You might even be the one to ask your date if they attend church, and your date may respond by saying “Yes, I go to church and pay my tithes every Sunday and I’m very involved in the ministry.” This may be true, however it’s important to pay less attention to these words and more attention to how your date treats the waiter, and other people who you both may have to interact with while out on your date. A person's actions speak volumes; can you see the God in him or her by the way he or she treats other people?
Other things to pay attention to when you’re getting to know a person is: What does that person talk about after they become really comfortable with you? Do they still carry themselves with the same integrity they portrayed in the beginning? Are they putting God first in “everything” they do or are they trying to pressure you to go against your beliefs? Do they have a spirit that will brighten up anyone’s day on a regular basis and not just when their day is going well?
What I have found is a person can be religious but may not have a true relationship with God. I’m not here to judge but what I mean by that, is the person does not talk to God on a regular basis and ask him questions to receive guidance and wisdom. A person can be heavily involved in church, but how do they treat you and others when no one is watching? When a person has a relationship with God it’s something you will be able to see in their personality. Ask yourself if that person is just attending church or is he or she really applying what they learn from church to their daily life.
It’s important to not rush the process of getting to know a person! One thing you don’t want to do is just get to know a person based off what he or she tells you about him or herself and then get into a relationship. You have to get to know a person based on how they treat you over a period of time; allow their actions to speak for itself. A person has to prove they are who they say they are first. If they are willing to put in the time to do that, then it might be worth taking a chance. Remember it takes time for them to prove themselves to you. So wait and pray over it. God will reveal everything you need to see before you decide to get into a relationship.
I hope this is a blessing to someone xoxoxox!
“We will be together forever, I will never leave you,” says the man who wants to get you to commit to him on a level deeper than what a girlfriend and boyfriend relationship is supposed to be. Some things should be left to marriage. Don’t let him fool you, the only thing you owe him is a good conversation and emotional support. He’s not your husband and until he kneels down in front of you, ask for you to marry him and you both walk down that aisle it’s not your duty to play wife or “wifey,” period. There is no question, if, ands, or buts about it! I’ve heard all the lines in the book and trust me I’ve seen it all. I’ve made mistakes and bounced back like I always do, but one thing you don’t want to go through is giving your heart away time and time again for someone to break that promise that many men make, “I will never leave you.” Lets get this straight, leaving a person has a lot of meanings behind it. Leaving means breaking up with a person, staying in a relationship but refusing to hold up your end of the relationship, and cheating while in the relationship. Leaving a person doesn’t always necessarily mean a physical break up.
Do you really want to go through your entire life believing this…I mean because remember the time you had to start all over again with someone new because the last relationship didn’t work out? Protect yourself, if a man truly loves you he will respect the way you carry yourself and become even more attracted to you because of your way of thinking. True love is when you fall for a person’s mind anyway. Yes physical appearance matters, but what’s physical appearance without integrity and intelligence? Ladies, a man has to love you for your morals, classiness, and strength. If he has a problem with you dressing conservative and that’s the way you like to dress he isn’t for you.
Many men in this world are sexual people, but a man who cannot control himself and respect your wishes while still treating you like a Queen, is a man who doesn’t deserve a woman like you. You’re different, you have a desire to do and be different from the rest, I know because I’m like you. You want to live according to your morals. You don’t look down upon no one else and you have a love and respect for everyone because you recognize that everyone’s stories are different. However, sometimes you find yourself feeling alone in the world. You feel like no one understands you, especially the men in this world. Baby girl, hold your head up, God has created someone especially for you. Life is not a fairytale but know that you are not alone; there are other women in this world who can relate to your story.
Always remember that you’re a woman of substance, so if your “boyfriend” wants you to cater to him like you’re married, he has the wrong woman! Stand your ground and don’t let it continue to go on, break up immediately. You can’t change him, that’s who he is and your time is valuable.
I hope this blesses someone, until next time loves xoxoxo.
There are some people in this world that you know you just can’t help. You may love them from the bottom of your heart but you can’t help them. How do you know this? You know this because you have tried one to many times before to help this particular type of person. You’ve offered money, a place to stay, advice, or maybe even your time and resources. In the end the same person you helped, turned against you. They only pretended to appreciate you when they were getting what they needed from you. This type of person may not intentionally hurt you, most of the time they have a serious problem. They hurt the ones who are closest to them and help or really love and support the ones who can care less about them. I used to take things so personal, when I found myself in these situations because a lot of times it occurred with family. Now I have grown more as a person and I see life out of a different lens.
I will give the shirt off my back to my family and close friends. If I’m not able to give money, I’m always sure to share my knowledge, skills and time with the people I love. It’s important to remember that money isn’t the only thing you can give to a person. Growing up my mom used to always say, “If you feed a person, you feed them for one day. If you teach a person how to fish, you feed them for a lifetime.” I will never forget this saying because it is so true. You can give a person money and they will take until your well runs dry, and may even still be ungrateful. However, when they tell you they need some money the next time, take out your computer and help them to tighten up their resume, take them to the job link or maybe even share some ideas with them on a business they can start based off their skills and abilities. If this is not good enough, it goes back to what I previously said, some people you just can’t help.
I have been in various situations where I felt like I couldn’t help someone that was very close to me, even after I had given all I could give. This was a hurtful feeling, but I had to remember there is one thing that I can do to help that will always work and that’s prayer. I decided that I would no longer allow for situations like these to stress me out and make me feel helpless. There will be people in your life who you can help, however life is not a fairytale so there will be times that you will come across some who you cannot help. When you are not able to help in the physical, be reminded that you can help in the spiritual. Praying allows you to break barriers and will open doors for that person’s life, you will also be blessed in return for interceding on that person’s behalf.
I hope this blesses someone, until next time loves xoxoxo!
I'm an East Carolina University alumna. I have experience in journalism, law, radio broadcasting, television production and teaching. My goal is to make a difference in the world through media and motivational speaking.