Heavy Heart

Have you ever felt empty inside? You felt like no one understood. No one knew what you were going through, and if that wasn’t enough you felt judged for the way you felt. The people you felt loved and cared for you no longer showed the same love for you. You feel like you aren’t appreciated. You feel betrayed, let down, mistreated and taken advantage of. You are looked at as the person who’s supposed to forgive and love inspite of all the pain that the ones you love most have inflicted upon you. You didn’t get an apology, they just aspect for you to forgive without even showing you that they acknowledge how they hurt you and aspect to be in your life to only continue doing the same thing.

People on the outside look in and make assumptions, and judge how you’re supposed to feel but you know they have no idea. They don’t understand what you’ve had to overcome. They weren’t there when you were going through the pain, and the heartache. They weren’t there when you cried yourself to sleep at night for feeling helpless and hopeless. So what do you do when you get to this point? When you feel like you have nothing left to hold on to? When you are faced to deal with reality by yourself. The world doesn’t owe you anything, no matter who is closest to you…you can’t expect for people to treat you the way you treat them. You can’t expect for people to love you the same. Everyone doesn’t share the same definition or meaning of love because some were taught how to love differently. What do you do when talking about how you feel begins to seem meaningless?

The only thing I’ve ever known how to do when the burden I was carrying on my back outweighed my strength was to pray. I decided to give it to God. I could no longer carry the hurt, pain and anger. Sometimes it’s easier to talk about than to actually do, but when no one else cares he still does. Sometimes you have to love you enough to back away from those who have hurt you repeatedly. It’s important for you to get treated with the same love and respect that you give to them. Life is not a fairytale, some days are harder than others, some days you may feel like you are merely existing due to the emptiness created from the lack of nourished relationships in your life. Pray for yourself and don’t look for others to value and appreciate you. When you can lay your head down at night and know that you did all you could to have a positive impact on the lives of those around you, allow that to be your validation.

I hope this is a blessing to you.

Love Trish

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