So you go out on a date and you feel like this guy or girl is a good candidate, they seem to have it all together. They have a place, a ride, a degree and no children. I’m not against people with children but I don’t have any so I would like to marry someone who doesn’t have any. If I had a child I would be all for talking to a person with a child. In the past I’ve actually tried it before but it was just too much drama for me, however I’m aware that everyone’s situation is different.
While you’re out on the date you’re asking the basic questions that you are supposed to ask to get to know a person. First dates are much like an interview. They say the first impression is the lasting impression, but you have to be mindful that the person is putting his or her best foot forward on the first date so you may not be able to see that person for who he or she really is.
Sometimes, after the first few dates the topic of religion may come up depending on how comfortable a person feels with opening up about their spiritual life. You might even be the one to ask your date if they attend church, and your date may respond by saying “Yes, I go to church and pay my tithes every Sunday and I’m very involved in the ministry.” This may be true, however it’s important to pay less attention to these words and more attention to how your date treats the waiter, and other people who you both may have to interact with while out on your date. A person's actions speak volumes; can you see the God in him or her by the way he or she treats other people?
Other things to pay attention to when you’re getting to know a person is: What does that person talk about after they become really comfortable with you? Do they still carry themselves with the same integrity they portrayed in the beginning? Are they putting God first in “everything” they do or are they trying to pressure you to go against your beliefs? Do they have a spirit that will brighten up anyone’s day on a regular basis and not just when their day is going well?
What I have found is a person can be religious but may not have a true relationship with God. I’m not here to judge but what I mean by that, is the person does not talk to God on a regular basis and ask him questions to receive guidance and wisdom. A person can be heavily involved in church, but how do they treat you and others when no one is watching? When a person has a relationship with God it’s something you will be able to see in their personality. Ask yourself if that person is just attending church or is he or she really applying what they learn from church to their daily life.
It’s important to not rush the process of getting to know a person! One thing you don’t want to do is just get to know a person based off what he or she tells you about him or herself and then get into a relationship. You have to get to know a person based on how they treat you over a period of time; allow their actions to speak for itself. A person has to prove they are who they say they are first. If they are willing to put in the time to do that, then it might be worth taking a chance. Remember it takes time for them to prove themselves to you. So wait and pray over it. God will reveal everything you need to see before you decide to get into a relationship.
I hope this is a blessing to someone xoxoxox!
I'm an East Carolina University alumna. I have experience in journalism, law, radio broadcasting, television production and teaching. My goal is to make a difference in the world through media and motivational speaking.