Getting to know a person takes time. Many rush into relationships for a desire to feel loved, but have you actually taken the chance to really get to know the person? It’s important to not fall in love with a person’s potential. If you love a person you have to love them right where they are and for who they are, or either keep walking in the other direction. A person will only change because they want to change. Also you don’t want to fall in love with who a person portrays himself or herself to be at the beginning, this is why taking time to know everything you need to know about a person is so critical. Remember that almost every relationship starts out perfect. If it wasn’t like this, we wouldn’t be in it right? Even though the beginning starts off great, you have to keep longevity in mind. Anything that happens quick will almost be short-lived. Everyone’s desire is to have something left to hold on to.
You may say, what do I mean by this? Well relationships can start off really strong, and then later become routine. After a while either one person or both people may begin taking eachother for granted. Why does this happen? When you are first getting to know a person, it’s exciting because they are new to you and then the excitement dies down. When the sparks flicker out, you may not have anything left to hold on to. Is that person kind and patient? Does that person do things for you just because they love you and not because they feel like they have to do it? I’m talking about sending you sweet texts to check in throughout the day, or did they fall off with that because they got comfortable. Do they compliment you still? Do they support you in your dreams? Are they still saying things to uplift your spirits when you’re down, or were these things just all to get you at the beginning? Maybe it wasn’t to get you, maybe they got lazy or aren’t into you anymore. Well if that’s the case, it’s better to find out now before making a lifelong commitment like marriage.
Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice and a commitment. When you love a person unconditionally you will communicate your feelings to them and be open; you will also never stop trying and putting in effort to make things work but it takes both people trying. When you are with someone and they completely stop putting forward effort, thank God for them showing you the signs you needed to see. This type of person will run from person to person their entire life trying to chase an exciting stage, only to see that it will always die out. It takes real work and dedication to make a successful relationship work. An example of chasing a new high is starting a job you prayed and asked God for, but then after a year you decide that it doesn’t excite you as much. Instead of thinking of ways to make your job more challenging and exciting, you take the easy way out and you quit. When you make this decision you do it without another job lined up and on top of this you have a family to feed. Afterwards you sit and think about how big of a mistake that was. When God blesses you with something or someone, do not make a permanent decision because of a high you are chasing. Just because today was a slow day or wasn’t as exciting, it doesn’t mean everyday will be.
Life is not a fairytale, so sometimes life will become routine. It’s up to you to switch things up to make them more exciting. In order to succeed in anything you have to be committed to it. In a relationship everyday may not be as exciting but if you stay the course you will see that when you have someone who truly loves you, the work that you put in to keep what you have will always be worth it. I hope this is a blessing to someone.
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I'm an East Carolina University alumna. I have experience in journalism, law, radio broadcasting, television production and teaching. My goal is to make a difference in the world through media and motivational speaking.