I've experienced a lot in my lifetime, but there is this one universal question that we all seem to struggle with. That question is, "What is love?" You don't really know what love is or how it feels until you have actually experienced it for yourself. When thinking of love, you can consider the love you may have received from your parents or guardians because they were supposed to have introduced you to what love is before anyone else. Some people have had to figure out what love is through a significant other, which isn't always bad but could be tricky if they hadn't experienced love from a guardian first. Love from a guardian is love in its truest and most purest form. Love is not just about feelings; it's an action word. Love gives freely, love is patience, love is understanding, love is kind, love is respect, and most importantly love is unconditional. Although love is unconditional it's important for you to know that it doesn’t mean that you should stay in a relationship that you are getting mistreated in, this includes personal and friendship relationships as well. You can still love a person while deciding to distance yourself. If you have never received true, genuine, authentic love from a guardian it’s critical for you to seek self-love before getting into a personal relationship. When you are not familiar with how love feels you may settle for less than your worth, or you may hurt someone else in the process of seeking the love you never received. Take out quality time to love and get to know yourself more, before getting involved with someone in a personal relationship; this will give you insight on how to love someone and how someone should love you. When you love yourself, you will not stay in a verbally or physically abusive relationship. If you are getting out of a traumatic relationship it's never too late to take time out for yourself. Allow yourself time to heal because you are so worthy of being loved the right way. Life is not a fairytale, love is a concept that so many of us struggle to make and find meaning to, however if you question if it's love ask yourself does this person bring out the best in me and do I feel uplifted and celebrated when they're around. I hope this blesses someone…until next time loves! Trish
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When was the last time you were hurt? Go back to that moment, how did it make you feel? When you give everything you have to give to a person, whether that’s in a personal, friendship or family relationship, feeling betrayed or mistreated has the same feeling. It hurts! I’ve experienced the feeling of betrayal with different people in my life. How did I deal with it? I said goodbye. Goodbye to broken promises. Goodbye to mistreatment and goodbye to being taken for granted. “I will not do it again” is a line I’ve heard too often in my personal relationships. I had forgiven and forgiven until there was nothing left inside of me. The feelings diminished, and then I was only in the relationship because of the amount of time I put in it. I wanted to believe that magically the guy would change and he would realize what he had and finally value me. “Who was I fooling? No one but myself.” I knew that things wouldn’t change and they didn’t so I finally had to let completely go of it (the relationship) and of him. Goodbye to broken promises. Lets talk about friendships. Just because you are someone’s friend, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re your friend. Examine their actions. Are they around when you need someone to talk to? Do they call you and focus only on talking about themselves without asking you about your life? Do they make an effort to show up during special moments in your life, such as birthday parties? If you’re the only one making an effort to listen and be present in their life then this is a friend you need to walk away from because the love and respect is not reciprocated. Some of the same things that destroy friendships can have an impact on family as well. I’ve also seen jealousy get in the way of beautiful family relationships. In life we each have our own individual journeys. We each are on a different course, so there’s no reason to compare yourself or to be jealous of anyone. We look and act differently for a reason, because we all have a different purpose. I view my friends as family so if we’re friends then you have a sister for life. Examine the people who you call your support. Does your significant other mistreat you and make you feel like you’re not worthy of better? Are your friendships one-sided and only a convenience to the other person? Is a family member allowing jealousy to come in between the both of you? If you are in either of these situations, you have to find closure and step away from the toxic relationships because it will continue to be the way it is. Life is not a fairytale; you will experience relationships that will threaten your peace but only you have the keys to who you allow inside of your world. Love is patient, love is kind. I hope this blesses someone. -Trish One and two and three and four and get them sit-ups right and tuck your tummy tight, said the Kanye song that played through my ear phone speakers as I got into position to do my next work out at the gym. Many people have told me that I don’t need to work out because I’m a petite woman, however working out isn’t about losing weight it’s about having the proper energy throughout my day to successfully accomplish my tasks. Working out gives me the extra boost of energy I need. I had no idea how this one particular day of going to the gym would change my life. It was a regular day, the sky was blue and all that. I was in a good mood and doing my own personal workout, until this girl came up beside me and started doing squats, but not at a normal pace. She was going pretty fast, so I looked at her and I said to myself, “I can do that,” so I proceeded to do the same.
In the past I dated guys who talked about my size, I was always ok with my size but over time it started to bother me. Many guys said I wasn’t thick enough. I have a small frame, but I’ve always had confidence and never second-guessed myself. When they told me this, in my mind I felt that they were the ones with the problem because I was perfectly okay with myself. Underneath all the self-confidence I still managed to allow some of those negative remarks to creep in. Before I knew it, I was pushing myself a little too hard to be exactly what society deems as attractive. The extra stress from magazines, social media and even from past relationships sometimes made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I never thought I would fall under this pressure but I did and as a result of pushing myself too hard, something happened that day at the gym. It was the beginning of something I never knew I would experience. The next morning, when I got up to get dressed my knee was hurting badly. I remembered hearing my knee pop in the gym but I didn’t think twice about it. I didn’t feel anything so I thought it was a regular pop, like when you crack your fingers. I wrapped my knee, and used ointment and creams. Days and weeks passed before I decided to schedule an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. The chronic pain I was having was so bad that it made it difficult to walk. After waiting to hear the results, the orthopedic looked at the x-rays and MRI and said that I had not broken or torn a ligament. I was relieved mentally however I was still physically in pain, as a result the doctor scheduled me to do physical therapy. Physical therapy brought tears to my eyes, the therapist made me do exercises that really hurt. She told me to also continue exercising on my own like normal and I did exactly what I was told, but nothing seemed to help. The weeks passed and I continued to deal with the unbearable pain, it felt as though the more I worked out the worse the pain became. During this time in my life I was taking classes online to obtain a Masters Degree and working part time. My flexible schedule helped out a great deal. On my job I was on call so I was able to accept the jobs that I wanted for each week. This helped a lot because it became harder to stand on my feet. When you aren’t able to do what you normally are used to doing such as walking, which is something that we mostly take for granted it can become depressing. This took away from the activities I was able to do and as a result I spent more time than I wanted at home. There was nothing that anyone could do to help. I eventually finished my second cycle of physical therapy and made up my mind that I wouldn’t go back since it wasn’t helping. I also promised myself that I wouldn’t get another hydrocortisone shot in my knee after my second one and no results. The anti-inflammatory pills for my knee inflammation weren’t helping and I felt as though my life was coming to an end. Depression slowly started to infiltrate my spirit. When I told others about my situation they said I would probably have knee problems for the rest of my life. Some people said I had arthritis and others expressed their sympathy for me, of course I didn't open up my mind to any possibilities other than me being healed. Here I was 26-years-old at the time and I could barely walk. There was only one person who I knew could fix my situation and that person was God, so I called on him and prayed to him every day. The doctor told me that he didn’t know what to tell me and that my situation was one of the biggest mysteries of the year because everything showed up normal from the tests, however I was still in chronic pain. I was grateful that my tests came back normal yet a little sad about the pain I had to endure. I felt myself going deeper into depression and then I had to tell myself, “Trish, you’re not this perfect person who will always be positive, sometimes life will knock you down and when this happens, it’s perfectly normal to be upset as long as you don’t stay down and upset for too long.” I’ve always been this strong role-model to other women and young girls but this was one of the times when I didn’t feel like that strong woman anymore. Prayer was what kept me. Months and days passed and I continued pushing through the pain, when it eased up I was able to go to work however it was still very painful. There were many times I cried and couldn’t make sense of why I was going through this situation. Then I realized that God allows things to happen to us to strengthen our faith and build our patience. This was also a reminder not to compete with anyone, when getting into shape, and to be aware of the impact of "body shaming," because it's a relevant issue. We live during a time that more pressure is placed on women to look a certain way in order to be attractive. It's okay to look good, put on makeup and to workout, as long as you are doing it for the right reasons. Never allow another person's view to change the way you view yourself. Life is not a fairytale, people will say things that will test your self confidence, however you must remember that the one for you will love you for who you are and at the size you are. I hope this is a blessing to someone. Love Yours, Sincerely La'Trish "Please don't let me fall," I whispered to myself while walking behind the other teachers down the stadium bleachers to be seated. Our students were finally graduating! The day had arrived and I didn’t know who was most proud and excited, the students or me! My adrenaline rush made me feel like I was on cloud nine; God had not only blessed my students to be able to graduate but he also blessed me with an amazing job! I always knew that I wanted to make an impact on young people, but I never dreamed of having the opportunity of doing that through teaching at the high school I once attended. I remember working on my Masters Degree while substitute teaching and trying to plan out the next steps of my life, and then it was as if God said, I have a new assignment for you. I was offered a full time teaching position and the rest was history. Marching into the stadium with my fellow teachers had to be one of the most exhilarating feelings I’ve ever experienced. The last time I marched at this stadium was when I was a student graduating from high school! This year I was able to experience marching into graduation as a teacher. I cheered, took pictures and videoed as my students walked to receive their diplomas. I’m so grateful for this new opportunity in my life. I can’t wait to share with you the exciting things I will be doing with my students in the upcoming school year! When the graduation ceremony came to a close the band begin playing the “Pomp and Circumstance” graduation song. The students marched off the field, and we (the teachers) followed shortly after. This day signified the completion of twelve years of schooling for my students, but for me it signified that and so much more. It symbolized me overcoming everything in life that happened to me up until this day. The completion of my first year of teaching gave me confirmation on so many levels that there is nothing that God can’t bring me through. I was knocked down many times in the past. There were times when I felt like I couldn’t go any further but each time God reminded me that it wasn’t all about me or even how I felt at the moment. There were others depending on me to keep going, because they were watching me. It’s easier to break under pressure when it’s only you, but when others are depending on you something inside of you starts to rise up and strive to stay the course. Graduation made it clear to me that it’s my students who depend on me as well as other young people in the world who need guidance. Now I'm able to educate students who sit in the same seat that I once sat in, and this makes every struggle, every let down, and every disappointment worth it. It was all necessary for me to reach this very point in my life. Life is not a fairytale, however when you acknowledge that you aren’t on this journey alone and that God will always be there to lead and guide you, it will help to make your burdens a little lighter. It will also remind you that there are others who are watching and their hopes, dreams and aspirations are tied to your success. You are a walking example that they can be everything that they’ve dreamed of being. So when things become uncertain in life, stay the course and God will open the exact doors he wants you to walk through. I hope this is a blessing to someone. Love Trish Have you ever felt empty inside? You felt like no one understood. No one knew what you were going through, and if that wasn’t enough you felt judged for the way you felt. The people you felt loved and cared for you no longer showed the same love for you. You feel like you aren’t appreciated. You feel betrayed, let down, mistreated and taken advantage of. You are looked at as the person who’s supposed to forgive and love inspite of all the pain that the ones you love most have inflicted upon you. You didn’t get an apology, they just aspect for you to forgive without even showing you that they acknowledge how they hurt you and aspect to be in your life to only continue doing the same thing. People on the outside look in and make assumptions, and judge how you’re supposed to feel but you know they have no idea. They don’t understand what you’ve had to overcome. They weren’t there when you were going through the pain, and the heartache. They weren’t there when you cried yourself to sleep at night for feeling helpless and hopeless. So what do you do when you get to this point? When you feel like you have nothing left to hold on to? When you are faced to deal with reality by yourself. The world doesn’t owe you anything, no matter who is closest to you…you can’t expect for people to treat you the way you treat them. You can’t expect for people to love you the same. Everyone doesn’t share the same definition or meaning of love because some were taught how to love differently. What do you do when talking about how you feel begins to seem meaningless? The only thing I’ve ever known how to do when the burden I was carrying on my back outweighed my strength was to pray. I decided to give it to God. I could no longer carry the hurt, pain and anger. Sometimes it’s easier to talk about than to actually do, but when no one else cares he still does. Sometimes you have to love you enough to back away from those who have hurt you repeatedly. It’s important for you to get treated with the same love and respect that you give to them. Life is not a fairytale, some days are harder than others, some days you may feel like you are merely existing due to the emptiness created from the lack of nourished relationships in your life. Pray for yourself and don’t look for others to value and appreciate you. When you can lay your head down at night and know that you did all you could to have a positive impact on the lives of those around you, allow that to be your validation. I hope this is a blessing to you. Love Trish I’m convinced that God wants for every single person to marry him before getting married to someone else. What does this mean? This means to carry yourself like you’re married before you actually get married. I know for some this sounds bizarre, but it is important to protect yourself from unnecessary situations in life. God doesn’t want you to be broken so many times by so many people before you meet the person he created you to spend your life with. This is why it’s important that you make a commitment to God and treat your relationship with him as if it’s a marriage. Allow him to order your steps, protect, provide and take care of you until he brings your soul mate into your life. You may say, “How would I know if the person is my soul mate?” There are a few ways you will know this but the number one way to identify your soul mate is when he or she puts God first in every aspect of his or her life. Your soul mate will put God before himself or herself, and even before you. Have you ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out and you were disappointed because of it and then you later realized you were trying to make the man or woman be something he or she wasn’t? You wanted them to be the one so bad that you overlooked the biggest sign. The sign was that they did not honor God’s word on all levels, but they chose to only honor the part that was convenient for them. I think most of us have all made the mistake of jumping into a relationship with the wrong person, or trying to make something work that was only meant to be temporary. Making a decision to commit to God first will cause you to bypass mistakes and possible heartaches. Some mistakes can change the course of your entire life, while heartache doesn’t last forever. Be open to the idea of the wrong one walking out of your life and embrace it. It’s not a bad thing. When you find a sense of peace from this, it allows God a chance to prepare you for the right one. Who are you committed to? Make sure you are committed to God first, so that you can identify your soul mate when you see him or her. In order for you to do this, you must first live a lifestyle that honors God. I’ve witnessed so many of my friends and family members in toxic relationships in my life, and I’ve also been in a few myself. If I could talk to my younger self I would tell myself that you can’t change a person, so the best thing to do is to let them go. A person who chooses to honor God and put him first is the one you want to spend your life with, because he or she will not base decisions off of convenience but will make the right decisions in a relationship even when making the right decisions may not be easy to do. Life is not a fairytale, however God will prepare you for your soul mate if you allow him to do his job by trusting him enough to commit to him and his process instead of creating a process of your own. I hope this is a blessing to someone! Happy New Years Eve! Love Trish Rrrrringggg…my phone went off. I looked at it and was excited to pick it up because it was my god-father calling. I answered my phone with enthusiasm in my voice, like I always do, “Heyyyyyy,’” I said. “Hey,” said my god-father. My godfather has always been in my life, along with his wife, my god-mother. These two treat me like I am their biological daughter; it’s been this way since day one. My mom couldn’t have chosen better people to be apart of my life. “What you doing?” said my God-father. “Nothing,” I said. We’ll be by there in a minute to drop off your Christmas gift,” he said. I knew that I would get a nice gift from them because they are very up to date on the latest trends and technology. I heard a knock on the door and I went to open it. It was my god-parents. If I could pick one word to describe them it would be resiliency. I’ve seen them both stand the test of times, and each time they were faced with life’s adversities they came out on top still standing. They may not know but they have taught me lessons just by the way they live their lives. I greeted my god-parents and welcomed them to my kitchen where we sat at my high-kitchen table that I love so very much. I glanced at the bag they put on the table. It was a bag from Kay Jewelers! What? I started thinking to myself, I know they didn’t go all out like this, but it was my god-parents who are known to go all out for me and my god-sister. “Open your gift,” they said. I picked up the Kay’s bag and after what seemed like an eternity I took out the small box. I felt myself blushing, “Oh my goodness,” I said. I could have cried when I opened the box to see a diamond ring! When I looked up my god-parents said, “Will you marry us?” This was the sweetest thing ever. I stood up to hug them both. “We got your god-sister one too and we couldn’t do one thing for one without doing the same for the other,” said my god-father. It’s as if my god-parents knew when to step in and do something this amazing for me! They have seen what I’ve been through these last two years of my life and throughout my entire journey I’ve been able to talk to them about anything. I’m so grateful that when people leave out your life God reveals to you that there are other people who genuinely care for you and love you unconditionally. Everything I went through was necessary and was supposed to happen the way that it did to lead up to this very moment. This was a reminder that God hasn’t forgot about me. Life is not a fairytale, however God will orchestrate the steps of others to remind you of his unconditional and unwavering love. I hope this holiday season you acknowledge that there are people who care for you, no matter what your situation looks like. Happy Holidays! Love Trish xoxoxo Lately it’s been hard to write. I lost someone who was apart of my life for 27 yrs and I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Rev. Dr. Haywood N. Goode. Sr. passed away on October 20, 2017. At first I thought I would be ok, because I knew for a fact that he lived a life to be proud of and I knew the many of people he impacted. He passed away at 88 years-old, which shows how blessed he truly was to live such a long life. I’m aware that we all have to leave one day so I thought I was okay until reality set in and I started thinking of all the sweet memories. I remember him always supporting me throughout school and telling my mom that I was his granddaughter. He was so proud of me and not only was he like a grandfather, he was the preacher I grew up listening to. My mom made sure I went to church every Sunday. I didn’t have a choice, regardless of how I felt I was going to church and if I showed out in church…well, you know the rest. I’m appreciative that my mom made that decision for me as a child because it taught me about discipline and having morals and values. I started singing on the choir at Rev. Goode’s church at the early age of 6 years-old. He baptized me at 9 years-old. This man was something like a giant, in height and stature but he was as gentle as they come. When he spoke everyone listened, because his voice held so much power. He didn’t have to yell, or even raise his voice it was just something about it that reminded me of what it meant to be a natural born leader. His humility overflowed through the way he treated others. He never put himself above his congregation and he was the true definition of love and forgiveness. I seen members fall short, like we all do sometimes because we are human. When this happened, he corrected them and forgave them holding them to the expectation of not making the same mistake again. The love never changed, no matter the mistake.
I remember meeting with him to get prayed for. I was going through a lot during that time in my life. I injured myself exercising and there were other outside pressures I was facing to live a life of conformity with the mainstream. Rev. Goode called in his team, the prayer warriors. I knew the two women who came in, because they were active members in the church. They held hands in a circle and prayed for me. I could feel the amount of power in the room. The power came from the prayer and the belief. The same day Rev. Goode shared with me that he started working as a young boy. He then told me of the racial discrimination he had to overcome growing up in the deep south. His life wasn’t a cake walk. He started out working for 50 cents a day as a 9 year-old to support his family. He walked to work at night and if he heard anyone in the woods, he had to immediately hit the ditch or hide so that he wouldn’t be kidnapped by the white men. This was the only way his mother wouldn’t lose their home. By agreeing to do this as a child, Rev. Goode put himself in the position to be a great leader for his family, and then years later, to a church that would be the biggest church in Thomasville, NC, known as “Friendship Missionary Baptist Church.” My life will never be the same without Rev. Goode. Anyone can preach the gospel but not many can live it. This man lead by example. I’m blessed to say that he was apart of my life for as long as he was. He taught me that the size of the person has nothing to do with a person’s strength. When he was a young boy, he had the heart of a lion and when he grew to become an influential force in his community he lead with grace and humility. May he continue to rest in paradise. I am grateful that he left a blueprint for me along with many others to live by. Life is not a fairytale, therefore we will all have to one day leave this world so prepare yourself and live your life according to the legacy you would like to leave behind. I hope this is a blessing to someone! Love Trish xoxox Have you ever been at a place in your life where you just felt lost? You had your dreams, you knew what you wanted to accomplish, and you worked towards those things but you just weren’t seeing any tangible results? During this time you should go the hardest! Yes, I said it! This is the time when you are closer to things taking off for you then you realize. This is why things are getting harder, more tedious and frustrating for you. This is the time when winners are created, this is when you work when you don’t feel like it or see progress. This is the time that reminds you how hard life really is. It’s not going to be easy and everything will not always make sense. For example, you graduate from high school, and go to college to make yourself more marketable in the work force and they tell you that you don’t have the required experience to land the job. You’re 100% confused because you’re wondering what your internships were supposed to have counted as, if it wasn’t considered to be experience. The job market is highly competitive, and mostly it’s not because the next person is so much more skilled and talented than you are. Many of times it’s simply because they knew someone you didn’t know that was already working within the company. This has been my experience since I graduated from high school. The jobs I didn’t receive were the ones that I didn’t have any type of internal connections with, and every good job I’ve landed was because the manager knew one of my friend’s or family member’s. We are living in a new age. Things have changed. If you are trying to break into a certain business and aren’t successful doing that after putting in so much hard work, it’s okay to continue working hard at your craft but also make your own business in the meantime. Bills do not stop for unemployment, or low wages. Use your gifts and talents to profit, while working towards what you really want to obtain. This will teach you survival skills, self-motivation and independence. You might actually love it more than working a 9 to 5. Life is not a fairytale so nothing in this world will be handed to you; therefore it’s important to use your god-given skills to survive. If you’re good at making t-shirts do that, but if you are a good cook, sell plates. It is important to use your god-given skills; God gave them to you for a reason. When you keep going and working towards your goals inspite of how tired or frustrated you become, God will always meet you half way. Whatever you do, don’t give up because you never know just how close you may already be to the blessing that will change your entire life. I hope this is a blessing to someone! Love Trish xoxox I’ve watched God heal and do miracles, but what I’m never prepared for is losing a loved one. So how do we get through this? We don’t try to force ourselves to move on. We pray daily; we seek God daily. We read our bible. We cry, we pray, and we cry and pray again. We ask God for strength and peace that surpasses all understanding. Sometimes we just yell out his name. We cry until the tears are no longer there to flow from our puffy eyes.
The grieving process is vital in repairing our heart and mind. Things will never be the same after losing a loved one. For one, we will never be able to physically see our loved one again, however this realization should awaken in us a greater purpose for our lives. That purpose is to become the very best version of our self that we can possibly become. If there was something we struggled with before our loved one passed away, we have to strive to eliminate that particular thing from our life. Life is too short to hold on to dead weight that will hinder you from progressing spiritually. If you do not let go of the dead weight, the very thing you are trying to hold on to will also spill into your career and financial life. You may find yourself in a place of lack because there are some things and or people you need to let go of. Life is not a fairytale; therefore losing a loved one should awaken in you a deeper sense of meaning for your life. It should remind you of how fragile life truly is. God kept you here a little longer; you have a chance to get things right and to live the very best life while on earth. Take advantage of this opportunity and prepare yourself for when God may return. Your loved one is in a better place and would want you to live an amazing life so you can eventually make it to heaven. The only thing that could make him or her prouder is for you to go out there in the world and WIN! Know that he or she loves you unconditionally and that we all will leave here one day. So what is the legacy you want to leave behind? Ask yourself how would you want people to remember you and most importantly, are you striving everyday to live a life that is pleasing to God? Love Trish xoxoxo I hope this is a blessing to each of you. In Memory of Maurice Suggs: We Love and Miss You and we pray that God allows each day to become a little easier in dealing with the pain of you no longer being here. Our human minds are far too simple to understand why you had to leave now, but we trust that nothing passes through God without him knowing. If it was meant for you to be here, God would have created one of his miraculous miracles that I've seen him do with no problem many times. But instead he had plans for you and needed you with him. Before he placed each of us in the world, he had a time that we would be born and a time that we would depart from this earthly world. Thank you for being a loving friend. We know that you are happy and are smiling down on us from Heaven. P.S. I love this picture of you in your music video because you are looking up to heaven. Please watch over us. Rest easy angel. |
AuthorI'm an East Carolina University alumna. I have experience in journalism, law, radio broadcasting, television production and teaching. My goal is to make a difference in the world through media and motivational speaking. Archives
February 2024
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